Self love can feel selfish but if you don’t love your self well, how will you love others well?

A Supervisor I once had said the most important thing to me, that’s ever been said;

“It is not about you.”

I was working with teenagers at the time and this statement could not have been more true. My time with them was about how I could best love and support them and my “stuff” was irrelevant when I was with them. I treasure the statement and still think of it as often as possible.

As critically important as caring for others and having compassion for all – truly is, I believe it’s so much harder to offer ourselves fully to good work, love and compassion if we’re not able to first love and take care for our self.

It’s not impossible to do good work while not loving yourself well, I did it for many years, but it will eventually catch up to you – leaving you feel weak, burned out and discouraged. 

---

We must be filled up first before we can pour in to others.

---

The unspoken lady code – where we preface anything good about ourselves by starting with “Not to brag but..” or “I don’t mean to sound full of myself but…” or generally acknowledge anything at all that is amazing about ourselves, because we don’t want to seem full of it – has left us in a state of thinking we are small, unworthy and just plain not enough.

In the past, my mind’s been filled with so many negative thoughts; “Why am I not smarter?”, “Why can’t I do anything right?”, “Why can’t I figure out this problem at work already?”, “Why did I do that?”, “Why did I say that”….and the list goes on…ruminating exhaustion. This is not a positive pattern.

        Read more about why the above negative “why” questions are could literally be ruining your life, here. 

Over the course of this past year I decided to try and learn how to fully accept and deeply love myself. I was tired of not loving myself well. I was tired of trying to find someone else to love me well.

This takes time and practice, especially if you’ve been disliking yourself for so long – but the alternative, hatred and self bashing, will get you no where – very quickly.

What you focus on grows. If you hate yourself, the hatred will grow. If you focus on love, that love and positivity will grow and spill out in all areas of your life.

Whether you’re in a relationship or doing life solo, I know we could all have a bit more self love.

A Creative Solution to Loving Yourself Well.

---

I decided to write a love letter of sorts to myself. This felt like a silly idea at first but by the end I felt so good.

---

In a world that constantly tears us down, I gave myself permission to fully appreciate everything I have accomplished and delighted in simply being me.

In an act of extreme bravery, I decided to start this new blog with an open love letter to myself.

Write your own love note so you can start loving yourself well.

Maybe you read my letter as if it were from you to yourself or maybe you write your own. I promise it’s such a lovely experience. I challenge us all to commit to changing the negative self talk, to thoughts that are loving and life giving! #loveyourself #lovenoteselfie 🙂

“Dear beautiful, amazing, lovely self,

Despite everything we’ve been through together I want to tell you that you are doing a really great job at life. And despite all these great things you are doing – you just simply are – amazing.

To the depths of your soul, from the inside to the outside, you are beautifully stunning. Your heart and your love for others is so big. The way you love, feel and soak in life is deep and warm.

I love that you laugh so often, that your joy is contagious and at times, will fill an entire room. I’d also like to acknowledge all the hard work you’ve done to rise above the dark places – where at the very depths, there was only hopelessness and helplessness – your determination and drive to push towards the light is absolutely remarkable – You did it!

You really did it!

So many things you thought you would never do or ever feel, you have done the work and made the discoveries and found the resources to rise above.

I am so proud of you.

I can’t believe how far you’ve come.

Thank you for your perseverance, your drive and your patience. It’s really paid off – to get closer and closer each day to the life you have always wanted for yourself and totally enjoying the journey along the way.

You are finally accepting and loving this season of life.

You’ve laid aside the comparison and the expectations you originally thought life was supposed to be, to simply live the life you’ve been blessed with.

You are living and loving life in adventures you could never have imagined and that maybe never would have happened had you not made peace with where you are; accepting that life is so not the same for everyone and that is OK!

You are perfect right where you are and AS you are.

Keep pressing on, enjoying and loving every second of this beautiful life.

Love you always,

Hollie